UWA alumni

 I am kinda not good at socializing and public speaker
but tonight i went to my university alumni alone
there were about 30 unknown people
all stranger to me
i went into toilet and kinda of like preparing myself
i thought there would be a formal panel discussion
but NO panel just people hanging out there and talking to each other holding wine in hand


there was a lady introducing me to a Deutsche Bank working in legal division
we started talking
lucky i had her to blow water
otherwise i didnt know why i went there and did nothing

共勉

十開頭的年紀，渾渾噩噩，不知所以。二十開頭的年紀，會的太少，野心太大，難免浮躁。三十開頭的年紀，學會了付出，卻也學會了妥協。願你無論哪個年齡，都能保持那顆最初的心，摔了不怕，再来就好，只有經過更多，我们才會變得更好。
共勉 

heartbroken

everyone asked me to leave, not to find until he realized he wants me back
but its very unlikely that he will find me
he wont find me anymore
i can feel he will never go back to me




works distract me alot but i cant concentrate on work because of him too
i cant help crying , tears burst out at night



he never read my text

he should have already forgotten me

he is tired of facing a girl like me

why did you hold my hand at the begining.

you have been dating with lots of girls

why dont you know i am not suitable

why did you approach me and leave me like this


why did i ask if you wanted to go out with me still and you said yet, but after few hours , you texted me that you are not the guy i deserve, why dont you ask me directly. isnt it that i should be the one who told you if you are not suitable to me or not?  how can you decide it for me? you are really BIG MAN and never think of someone's feeling

you just made your up mind and tell me ofF



u have no choice to decide it for me!

this is our relationship for both of us

u never talked to me

and you decided to end it

he said he need space to think things

this is what has happened
he said to me he might be a guy that i deserve
work is crazy right now and he is constantly on the road and he is having lots of pressure

he told me he need space and meet later in the week

its a good sign he has been thinking of our relationship that i thought he never
its a bad sign that he might never come back to me

i should think this is a break up - I DO NOT KNOW IF HE STILL COME BACK TO ME AND WANTS ME BACK

how much i want him back? that i have a feeling if it might be faded out so does he.

relationship takes time to develop

major reason is he densest have lot of time for me , the 2nd thing is he is not that into me. the last but not least, he has other girls somewhere else which less likely happen to him.. i still sort of trust him that he want to think things until he know if he want me again


my sixth sense usually works to me NOW.

he probably want to stop this relationship as he has seen it is not working well as he expected

i asked you on friday night if you still want to be with me. you said yes but on the same night, what you told me was shocking. why didnt tell you face to face instead of texting me like this?

when we see other, we are sweet , warm and feeling good.
when we not seeing each other, i will see your true feeling........................................................................

cheating

did he go to Chiang Mai by himself?

給予真．自由

給予真．自由

成熟的愛是要給對方足夠的空間。很多人以為天天在一起才叫圓滿。一旦對方不在身邊， 就發動煩人追魂call，這樣只會讓對方反感，覺得人生不自由呢。

am i doing it right?

Easter weekend one more day to go

you said you wanna do something else but you never find a date

you want me to be pro-active or wait for your "order"

for or not forever

i am not afraid of how far we apart from each other
but
i am afraid you do not want to share your feelings with me when you are sitting to me

we wont last foreevvvvvvvvver

few things on my mind

i am kinda lost
he went back from SH without telling me and went to China fixing some stuff for his dad without me
not until i said i wanna see him late tonight

once i got his update , i was in tears

"i need to be with me, do you know?" that is what coming out from my mind

i still haven't yet ask him what has been troubling him and what few thing on him mind

i did ask myself if ah yip was my the guy i want to last forever such as he did ask for my opinion when he shopped - i was ok but did have a thought of why he needed to ask me many times

this one, seem doesn't like shopping .. i tried to ask him out for shopping coffee table which he mentioned to buy but actually he didn't mean to

he seem like not a shopping guy . always wearing same top, shirt and outer

i am kinda losing temper to update my friends about me and him

i need time to tell them one by one in order to let them understand what type of guy he is

if i am not wrong so far, he is a relatively simple guy than others think but i cant catch him

i want to know more about
his childhood
his family
how close with his high school friends university friends?
what to break up with that 2 years girlfriend , how do you know not to know your "girlfriend" has been keeping contact with his ex and let you being dumped?
how do you think of me

when i am typing up this blog, he just kept me warm and said will see me soon again.
i hate this word but he did always use it
he and i .. what will happen next? i doubt

“生命如此短暫，

我們沒有時間去互相爭吵，

道歉，發洩，責備，時間只夠用來去愛，

可它又只有一瞬，令人惋惜!”

2nd week of the project

he's now in SH again 

i miss him very much but kept away from not texting him for two days already

i wanna make him miss me from his bottom of his heart

let him focus da project 

so we can go out for biking this Easter

few friends of mine think this relationship is so wired, why cant he focus you more and work always seem an excuse to make him not to texting him, taking care of me and neglecting me. i did have such feelings. i do want to learn taking it easy and find a common interest to have more special moments with him . i think this is the best way to make him feel my love! 

i knew they might think my boyfriend is not worth to trust. such a high profile guy how can he be satisfied of being with such a dorky girlfriend (thats he has been calling me.. well i just think i am cute and kind :)) i also thought that my boyfriend has to be with me every moments before i met him.

but i am the one who is in the relationship with him and to be with him 

i trust him when he is being with me, how he reacts to me, how he want to know me

i just know he is a man who always say i love you but will say miss me want me through words

this relationship does bring me lots of tears, laughter, sweetness, worry but i love the moment we are together even we are not spending as much time as other couples just starting their relationship

he may be my "meant to be". if i don't have faith in myself, there is nobody could bring me to see what will happy next in the future as i kick away my "meant to be". who will pity me, right?

i start to believe how many messages you received from a guy means how much he loves you and miss you

i start to be comfortable when he is not around even he fly out for business trip and didn't text me at once. As long as he goes there for work not for play. why should i get anger? things have been changing as well as people. the world is changing. love what and whom i love is the most important. Reason behind of updating me where you are because i just want to know you are safe :) not checking you or following you... ... you know Mr right?

我覺得愛情還是很美好，沒有理由不相信。每個人認為幸福的定義不一樣，對得起自己，相聚時很快樂、幸福就夠了。

i need you :)

two weeks apart

its has been two weeks since our last dinner i haven't seen him. 
yesterday i took sicky in the morning and texted him if he has back to hk.
he texted back immediately and replied that he would be back tonight and wanted to meet up. i somehow didn't believe that he still wanted to see me as i have been thinking he wanted to give up. he might be late as flight always delayed in China
at about 10pm, he texted me he just got back and asked me if we would meet at weekend. it was expected that what i have been knowing since first day. to be positive, he did want to see me, but knew flight must be delayed. the most important that he said he missed me, wanted me
i havent heard such sweet words from him since last month.
i was confused. maybe he disappointed me too much so i didnt feel i happily got such message. we texted back and forth when he was on the way home .
i could feel he was waiting me saying missing him but i didnt reply him straight away. i asked sleep more tonight and guessed he must be exhausted. made a tea and took shower. he then said want me.. my heart melted. i know i have soft heart
i finally texted him back saying i miss him and need him.. he asked need him how? i need u to stay with him and update what you are upto. i didnt want to push just said i wanted to see you. 

you are the stupid one.. i am the one to make you feel comfortable and have been trying to our relationship moving forward. i didnt put my emotional feeling thrown to you otherwise you might not be able to put up with me.

was it a good sign? am i thinking too much? am i the only girl to him? i didnt think if he can meet up two girls at the same time?  i would never know if he hide

people dont change and dont try to change people. 
this is the way he has been living on his own, it would change him when he is single or in a relationship.
i need to heal myself since last week breaking down and crying uncontrollably
although he is so insecure to me at the moment

back to busy week

had been thinking about if i should give myself a break and not to text him from today until he found himself missing me

but i kept asking myself why i cant just let our feeling grow naturally and being so hard on me? he wouldn't know how i felt as i never showed him 

i text him after dinner when lying on bed, watching tv because i wanna pick up Mandarin again

i text him because i want him to know my existence and i want to know if he got recovery from cough. but he said it got worse and i guessed it right because of his asthma affecting him a lot 

as his girlfriend, i just could text him and asked how he is. he used to not texting until next morning of my last message. i dun care and just leave it as it is

When your emotional well-being rides on whether or not he 

responds to you, he can sense it. He knows he has complete 

control: you aren't going anywhere because everything's riding 

on him. You need him to respond to you in a certain way. 

 

I know it can feel impossible to gain control over your mind 

when it only wants to focus on him, but it's actually quite simple 

when you follow this strategy.

 

Ready?

 

Treat him like he's just another one of your friends. 

 

Think about it.

 

You don't expect to hear from your friends every single day.

 

And if you don't hear from a friend for a few days, or if she takes 

a few hours to text you back, you don't panic and wonder if the 

friendship is doomed and think your friend doesn't care about 

you anymore.

 

Instead, your thoughts probably go something like "hmm, I 

guess (insert name) must be pretty busy at work, I'm sure I'll 

hear from her later."

 

You don't obsess and pick apart the last text you sent to her, 

trying to find a hidden clue to explain why she didn't respond. 

 

You also probably don't think and rethink, write and rewrite the 

texts you send to your friends, carefully calculating every 

punctuation mark and debating whether or not to use an 

emoticon. 

 

The e-mails, texts, IM's and phone calls with your friends 

require no analysis and result in no wave of emotions. They're 

easy, effortless and natural.

 

THIS is how you should approach your interactions with the 

fellas. As soon as you ditch the drama and just let things 

happen naturally, the mounting pressure in the relationship 

that you weren't even consciously aware of will dissipate. 

 

You'll also feel a whole lot better and more confident once that 

guy no longer has complete control over your emotions.

 

I've said it before and I'll keep saying it, nothing is more 

appealing, intriguing and irresistible to a man than a secure, 

confident woman who can be just as happy with him as she is 

without him.  

write down a bit about him

I decided to write down how i felt and what he makes me feel happy and sweet after every time i saw him

- i chased him again our trip. are we still going?! where are we going?! what i guess is right because he knew that there might be delay / cancel due to his deal... today is Monday. be patient! one more week i will be able to know if i can get away.

- there was an old lady holding the door for people coming out from the building. he saw it and walked a bit faster. i like his sympathetic to the poor that was what a fortune teller told me the same

- i told him i missed him. he smiled happily and then i asked him back. he replied a bit lah.  this is just joke and see me get angry

- tonight when we went out for dinner. i like the atmosphere very much. he was still busy with his email

but


--- he might not be checking work related stuff ... i have no faith in him again

to start with

the first day i woke up in the early morning after i started relationship, i was washing up and looked at the mirror and realized "oh i am now with him!" i was happy and excited.

he was back to his busy schedule which i knew that he would be on business trip and got conference. me? i was worrying.. not worrying about him. i worried myself. about my health. something wrong but i didn't tell him directly. he texted in the early morning as usual and i answered him like nothing happen. 

1st day, 2nd day, 3rd day.. i couldn't help myself thinking of him and finally told him what had happened. he was shocked and said sorry. i was glad that i let him know. i saw doctor and everything was fine. it had been almost a week that we just texted each other. he sometimes shot me photos. love the way he wanted me to know where he was. i was glad and start missing him so much and i knew i finally fell in love with him.

finally i waited after his return from business trip and his dad returning to UK, i thought i could see him everyday when he was in HK. it completely out of the blue. not everyone could imagine how busy he was both at work and personal life. he basically needs to travel once a week, day trip or 2 days or more. i might not see him for the whole week (remember i have been only with him for 7 weeks only) how could a newly together couple seeing each other less than once in a week? i was totally not used to be going out with such guy. but luckily, i mentally told myself and trying to be think positively - 

he has been so busy since i met him - he didn't hide

he has much to go on with his friends, party, drink, dinner since i known him - he didn't hide

the above two things i am still ok. positive.

of course i was upset that i couldn't see him very often like other couples dining out and meeting up each other every weekend. what i knew is that he wouldn't devote all his time to his girlfriend - wait. am i really his girlfriend or he is the play play one which i have been trying to figure it out. i did think about if he got other girls in other countries. after being with him for a month, this is not a matter for me to worry. he just has too little time to manage relationship with other girls. from what i known him so far, he seem not a guy who end up relationship because he overlapped with two girls. but i admit that he does need space, freedom that drives me CRAZY.

About us

I have started a new relationship for more than a month. Reason being starting to write a blog is to give myself a break and clear up mind after being with him.

He is a guy who is mature, determined, smart and successful in his career. Compared to me, i am such dorky but cutie to him :) well, he thinks i am a simple girl but he might not know i am a mature girl too.

from the beginning, he dated for dinner, we went out three times and he asked me if want to date with him. it was fast (!!)  but NO, i almost forgot is that i found he was impressed me since i first met him. it wasn't fast, not love at first sight. i would say this is fate. traced back half year ago, i had a crush on someone. i am glad that fate led me to meet him when i was totally disappointed with someone else and i would be grateful that fate let me know i deserve better.

i still remember very clearly the first time i met him. he was charming and just a normal busy businessman. it was a lunchtime and i went to a wrong restaurant and  almost missed out our first date. we have back and forth txt, not many but enough to keep each other know what we were upto. it has been a almost a month from 2015, we eventually had our second catch up after work. he acted so different from the first time i saw him. i was nervous about the second date. why? because i worried about we had nothing to say. but i was surprised that he voluntarily told me his ex and ex, how many serious relationships he had been gone through (which i am pleased as i didn't expect a guy so willing to share to a girl who just met second time), family and his past. i shared mine abit to him too. it was a great night and i knew that he quite like me. the third date, was the night he asked to be his girl, was around his area. i could feel his excitement when he saw me. he wanted to hug me but i tried to avoid (but it was hard !) we went to have a quick dinner and he started asking me if i wanted to date with him. first of all, i pretend not to listen to him but i kept shaking my head because i just didn't know what to answer. he might i was slow , still had other thoughts, or not ready, etc . it was just me that didn't what to response. after dinner, we walked out from the restaurant. he kind of like showing me around the place around there. he asked me again. i just found it sweet and had not really made up mind to think if this guy is really suitable to me. he was trying to hold my hand. i slightly pushed away. he tried again , i pushed away again and his hand slipped off my hand softly, and i finally held with him. he said "we are now .. right?" :) 

i sometimes recall that night that was quick, unexpected and sweet.